am i supposed to laugh or cry at th fact that waii is stained with red (blood) stains?! okay ignore the blood, cause its my red marker that leaked ink and caused waii to be stained zomg!! ): i am frigging sad! me and meiling (my beloved table partner) were desperately trying to clean the red ink off but in the end we made it worse (sort of)! GRAHHHHH. poor waii ):

BUT.

ive washed it with bleach (oops). and yes it is NOT white but pink like it has always been yay him! :D (actually hes monosexual after a series of debate with meiling wesley shaun tc -_-)

bear with me for the rest of the post, or you can choose to ignore it cause its frigging whiny and probably doesnt really make any sense -_-

i think humans cant really be called humans, or maybe, we are humans because we are uh, one of a kind, defintely. we are actually monsters, emotionally. you know? like, we can be little kids wearing white, smiling at everybody who walks by every minute. and then all of a sudden we change into the red guy with little red horns poking out, and a fork beside you.

its scary and terrible at the same time right.

and everything just happens to be a part of this vicious cycle whereby everyone is influenced by someone or something one way or another. and many times we know whats right or wrong but somehow people just end up the wrong way.

life is always about giving and taking. you give some and life takes back some. life gives you some and takes back some. it goes on and on and on until you lie in your coffin, braindead, but still images of the give and takes in life flashes through your mind. Ironic isnt it.

but yet, the best thing about life is, as many new faces walk in and out of your door, you'll always have people who will never leave the doors of your heart, because they will always leave a mark deep down inside. no friends stick forever, but the best friends do live in your heart for as long as possible.

omg why am i talking in such a manner as if im trying to wake someone up? O___O

on a heavier note,
you're not the only one who feels the same way.
but i guess, it has been just really disappointing. couldnt help much, and i didnt know how to, sorry.

standards and expectations are often what pulls people down, but yet, those who pull through are what we say 'strong people'.
perhaps 'strong people' arent just this.

they may be those whom managed to pull through.
or those who have tried their very best and gave it the bestest shot, and is never deterred by anything. Being 'strong' is knowing how to handle it in the very end even though you dont know how to at the start.

we all have our own standards and expectations to meet, so that we dont disappoint anyone, and ourselves. no matter how much anyone can say, its you who makes the decision, because you live with the consequences.

unless, you wanna be the classic human. who only regrets after making a choice.
well, the same thing can happen to both people, but the way you perceives it is a different thing.

who doesnt want to be the best?
but being the best isnt just one step away. you need to climb for many years before you get there.

dont say we are lousy, because we are not up to standard.
but say we're lousy, because we've disappointed many.

before its going to be too late, cause time is running out.
dont whine and complain why when you finally turn back and found out that others are ahead, because you have disappointed yourself by not trying hard enough.

ive got one new year resolution right now in mind.
&thts not to let anyone be disappointed with myself.

theres no use feeling lousy right now yes kimyee.

i told you its a whiny post. :)

time to slap myself awake for real.